It's borderline Wattpad material.Have you ever fantasized about being stuck on an island with Jennifer Lawrence but don't want to worry about pesky little things like scavenging for food and supplies or basic survival? Well, say no more, because here you'll be trapped in an automated, luxurious space cruise with Jennifer Lawrence. Your every need will be met by helpful, sassy British bartenders and you'll live out your days in languorous comfort.You won't have to worry about any competition for J-Law's attention, of course, because everyone else in the cruise will be conveniently asleep in their cryo chambers. Except for the hottest woman, whom you woke up in a moment of horniness weakness that the movie will bend over backwards to justify (more on that later).But worry not, you'll get to keep your status as a relatable, salt-of-the-earth, blue collar everyday guy and still partake of the ship's luxurious priviliges because J-Law will use her VIP bracelet to procure the best food and accommodations for you, cheap ticket holder. Whew! That was close!And then, eventually, of course, J-Law will find out you woke her up and basically doomed her to a slow death with nobody else but you by her side and prevented her from fulfilling her life-long dream of being the first journalist to set foot on humanity's newly-colonized planet. BUT, before she can get too angry about a simple faux pas like that, Laurence Fishburne will make a timely appearance and with his Old Man Wisdom and in his dying breath (we don't want ol' Laurence staying for too long and stealing your girl, right?), he will tell J-Law to forgive you because you need to stay together, for...reasons, even though he doesn't know any of you.And if that wasn't enough to make J-Law forget you murdered her and ruined her life, there's a sudden mechanical problem that threatens the lives of everyone onboard and only you with your humble, mechanical prowess can fix it, heroically risking your life in the process.But you'll survive of course, and you'll save the day so hard that J-Law will not only forgive you but she'll fall in love with you so completely that she'll refuse to use the surplus cryo chamber and instead choose to spend the rest of her life wandering around an empty ship with you, because women don't need those silly professional goals, they just need a man to make them happy. Ain't that a lovely fantasy? via /r/movies https://ift.tt/Jm8AjHu
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